Parenting moments gone by – overcoming the denial

The other night I was lying with my youngest son at bed time, chatting about whatever came into his head at any random moment.

“Mammy, I’m going to big school now, its time for you to have another baby!”



“Yes, in fact I want two more babies!”

No pressure then!

The fingers came out and he started to count…

“Yes, I want two more babies, then there will be five children!”

“Five children and two adults so we would be a family of…”

A bit more counting…

“Seven! We would be a family of seven. that’s what I want!”

I was impressed with his mathematical abilities… but less so with his sibling generating demands!

My baby
My baby

To be honest the conversation made me a little sad. In theory I would love to oblige him but in reality I know my baby making days are over. I know that stage of my life has passed, but, in an act of sheer denial, I am clinging to my four year old “baby” with everything I have got. He, in response, is defiantly growing up before my eyes.

He sees what his older siblings are doing and he rushes to match them. I look on  with pride and admiration and while I delight in all his achievements I am painfully aware that we are saying goodbye to another stage of life with children. The pride is mixed with a pang of longing for what will be no more. I am afraid to look back, to dwell on any of those baby moments because I think I will feel the loss too greatly.

When I read this wonderful post on The Busy Mama blog I knew it was time to end my blatant denial and face the truth. I nodded in recognition to all the points that Helen made as she recounted her tales of parenting moments gone by. I felt like many of those words could be mine. As the blog post was an invitation to all to participate and share too, I knew that by joining in the linky I would be forced to look back and acknowledge that my baby days are over – a therapeutic way to overcome the denial within.

I have been blessed with three wonderful children. Each one a unique character, each so different but so complimentary to the other. There are so many little things that I miss but here is just one that is so obvious to me at the moment…. my two older children are correcting their brother in his misuse and mispronunciation of certain words. They do it kindly and I know that he must learn but I wait quietly in the background, wanting to tell them to stop. I love all these little errors, I find them so cute and unique and I want them to last forever. But I know they can’t.

So this is what I will miss…

misappear (for disappear)… a lot of things “misappear” with the little mischief maker around!

incept (for except)… he loves using this word… and I love hearing it!

turch (for church)… I smiled when his brother corrected him on this and he said “some people just say things differently”!!

meleeeze (for please)… it is very hard to say no to a meleeze, especially when there is a pair of big blue eyes and a cheeky grin behind it!

“if magine if” (for “imagine if”)… he says this a lot!

Dee-dee (for Culann) … this was his first word, his name for his older brother; I am not surprised he spoke his name first, it was a beautiful reward for such a loving, devoted brother, who fell in love with him the moment he first set eyes on him; this name lasted years, but is long gone now; it will always stay in the momory of his loving and devoted brother though!

“instructable” (for indestructible)… which is what most things need to be to withstand the “enthusiasm” of the young boy who uses it!

“I love you mammy!”…. no corrections to make there, I just hope he always says it!


Click here to check out all the posts in the linky
Click here to check out all the posts in the linky

I think I am ready now to read all the other posts in the linky, with a box of tissues beside me of course. I am beginning  to realise that it is okay to remember but it is also wonderful to celebrate how much my baby has achieved, how well he is growing and how mush delight he gets as he reaches each new goal. I will accept that life with him in my future will be as wonderful as it has been with him in my past, and deep down, in some small way, he will always be my baby!




Science blogger and writer; Owner of Dr. How's Science Wows; Mother of three junior scientists who have taught me that to be a great scientist you need to look at life through the eyes of a child!

20 thoughts on “Parenting moments gone by – overcoming the denial

  • July 8, 2016 at 11:04 am

    I’ve lost count of the number of goodbyes in my mothering life. Each was met with a grieving of sort, although some slipped by without a proper send off.
    Now I’m at a stage where there are less goodbyes but a lot of hellos. New beginnings for my children, myself and our relationships. It’s actually a lovely and exciting time and in a way feels like a reward for the many hard years.
    So hang in there it is all very sad at times, especially as you are faced with the end of early childhood and very hands on mothering. When you see how exciting it is for your children when they know they are moving on, and you are in a position to guide and encourage them on the way it will help. We gave them lives, now they must live them.
    Beautiful post. I relived every word but with children of my own.

    • July 8, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Wonderful words and advice, as always Tric, I do embrace the new beginning but sometimes it is tinged with a little feeling of sadness 🙂

  • July 1, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    Oh I love the! Inspired to write down some favourites here before they’re gone… A big one is “Key-I”, three year old code for “Can I?”

    • July 1, 2014 at 9:14 pm

      Awh I love that one April, yes we all need to be writing them down, we think we will never forget but we do!

  • July 1, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Forgive the typos but my eyes are a bit misty after reading that…such a lovely post…what a lovely way to remember the mispronunciations and how sweet are they!! X

    • July 1, 2014 at 8:51 am

      Awh thanks Elizabeth, I am glad I wrote them here so I can remember them when they are all gone!

  • June 30, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Ah gorgeous post Naomi! I love all of the cute little words. We were watching old video clips on my phone the other day of my little man’s first steps etc, and I had forgotten all the little sounds he used to make before he started talking. It’s strange how quickly we forget…

    • June 30, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Thanks 😉 I know it is very scary how quickly we forget. I was trying to remember the equivalent words and phrases from the older two but could only remember a few. At the time we think we will remember forever!

  • June 30, 2014 at 8:14 am

    I remember when my two were 4 and 6 and I really didn’t want them to grow up. My 9 yo is now almost as tall as me and you’d think they were twins. I want them to stay young too and yet thank something out there that they are growing up to be fine teenagers and will go on to university etc.

    I often wonder how our relationships with our children differs from women two and three generations ago who had 9-12 children and who had the oldest ones bringing up the youngest. Did they love them all as fiercely or need the sheer numbers of them mean that the novelty wore off? How did the risk of infantile death from measles etc affect the relationships and closeness?

    We may not have as many kids now but I do wonder if we get more from our kids.

    Loving the new site by the way 🙂

    • June 30, 2014 at 8:17 am

      That is an excellent point Lorna, I imagine a mother’s love is endless, no matter how many children she has, but, as you say, threat of death and a harder lifestyle probably meant she didn’t have time to stop and dwell on each little stage of it all. Yes, I think we do get a lot more from our kids and certainly give them more time, focus and attention!

  • June 29, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    Love it. We’re still in the early days of talking here. Working up towards 3 word sentences. It’s fascinating hearing what comes out. Coffee in our house is ‘Daddy tea!’. If I comment on the smell of coffee in the kitchen I’m told ‘Daddy tea fart!’.

    • June 30, 2014 at 7:41 am

      Sheila that is priceless!!! Hope you are writing them all down 🙂

  • June 29, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Oh! Gorgeous. I felt every moment of that. Beautiful.

    • June 30, 2014 at 7:40 am

      Awh thanks Office Mum (hope you are not crying again) 😉

  • June 29, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    Aw what a lovely post. My twins are 4 years old too and they want an OLDER brother or sister…to help them tidy the playroom!!
    My daughter says ‘who body’ instead of anybody. ‘Who body wants to read me a story?’
    Such a cute and funny age 🙂

    • June 30, 2014 at 7:39 am

      Owh I just love “who body” and what a great notion… a pre-made, grown up sibling to help with the tough stuff 😉

  • June 29, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Aw,lovely post.Im at the opposite end of the scale-can’t wait for my minis to start talking!

    • June 30, 2014 at 7:37 am

      I think you are probably in the eye of the storm at the moment Aedin 😉 Once those words start I advise you to write them all down as I have forgotten so many of those gems x

  • June 29, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Well you saved the best for last Dr!!! I love this little dictionary of toddler wisdom. You had me very misty eyed by the ‘love you’ but which then made me blubb!!

    • June 30, 2014 at 7:36 am

      Thank you so much for the wonderful linky…. I am running out of tissues here though but great free therapy 😉

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