Mum, marigolds and memories

Mum, marigolds and memories

Its Mother’s Day on Sunday and I have three little delights that call me Mum… and oh how I love it! When I was younger I often changed my mind about what I wanted to be when I grew up but one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be a Mum! I had a great role model to inspire me!

The face that made me a Mama
The face that made me a Mama

 

 

My biggest fear as I approached the birth of my first child was not of childbirth or pain or health, it was the fear that I would not instantly fall in love with my baby. I need not have worried; the power of that instantaneous bond was incredible.

Scientist and medics will explain it as a result of oxytocin released at birth, but it is so much more! Studies have shown that women’s brains can literally increase in size once they become a mum, but why has no one studied the undeniable, emotional swell of the heart?

 

 

 

For once this blog is not about the science or the facts … it is about the woman who inspired me to want to be a mother myself…. It is about my Mum.

I have some wonderful memories of my childhood, not minute by minute but scanning through the years. Whatever the memory, whatever the image, there is one person who seems to feature in all… my mother.

No matter what has happened in life I have always known that my Mum was there for me, often before I even realised I needed her. From grazed knees to lost friendships my Mum always knew how to make it right… and she still does.

Every childhood illness was made a little more bearable having my mum around. She always knew what would make it better; the cold facecloth, the warm soup, the dark room or just the loving hug. I can’t imagine it was easy to see how sick I was on each of my pregnancies but my mum was a constant support throughout; sometimes making an eight hour round trip just to come visit me in the hospital.

Of all the memories I have, these ones probably stand out the most….

Brings back memories!
Brings back memories!

The times we spent doing all those craft projects at the kitchen table, we went through the entire ladybird book… give me a calvita cheese box now and I know just what to do with it

The day I fell out with two kids down the road and my mum stopped what she was doing and came outside to play with me when she saw me on my own

The way she sat for FOUR hours holding my new daughter because we finally had her asleep and she wanted me to rest

After countless trips to so many shops… the moment we both knew we had found the perfect wedding dress

The hours spent walking my children in the middle of the night (and, although I don’t remember, I image there were many hours spent walking me too)

Fried soda bread for my breakfast when I come to visit

The day the budgie died and my Mum spent the afternoon helping me with his funeral

The wonderful home baked sweet tea EVERY Saturday, at the time none of us appreciated the silent sacrifice of an afternoon spent baking

The help, encouragement and advice when I became a mum myself

Marigolds at the ready
Marigolds at the ready

The way she always packs the “Marigolds” when coming to visit me and spends the entire time cleaning my house and cooking the dinners

The day she had to bring me to casualty for an x-ray and she dealt so calmly with my meltdown when someone suggested I might have to stay overnight

Her shepherds pie, her corned beef, her colcannon and the fact that I have accepted that mine will never taste quite as good

And most of all I remember the day my Mum dropped everything and managed to travel over 2000 miles to be by my side when I needed her

 

 

Sometimes there is no need for science to explain what we already know, and I  know that I am lucky to be able to call her my Mum!

Thought of the day – "What’s in a hug?"

Thought of the day – "What’s in a hug?"

What is in a hug?  More than you might think!  We all know that a hug is a good way of expressing  love, affection, jubilation, happiness, sympathy, comfort or friendship; hugs can cheer us up and strengthen relationships but the science behind a hug can go a lot deeper!

Hugs all round for health and happiness!
Hugs all round for health and happiness!

 

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth

Virginia Satir, family therapist

 

The positive bonds of a relationship can be greatly increased just by the physical proximity and contact bet ween the two people hugging.  Studies have shown that couples that hug regularly are more inclined to stay together!

There are even reports that hugging yourself can reduce pain!

A good hug, as recommended, by social anthropologist Jean Smith,  should last for 20 seconds or more.   These hugs can increase oxytocin levels in our bodies making us happier and more relaxed.  Increased oxytocin levels result in a lowering of blood pressure and other stress related symptoms.  Oxytocin can also increase our social connections and is produced at many stages of bonding in life – such as at birth and during breast feeding.  So we become happier, more content, healthier and more relaxed, all in 20 seconds – now that’s another miracle of nature, don’t you think?

…..just a thought!